Something Worth Fighting For
by grave-walker
Summary: Fighting off an invasion in year 12, Jake's becomes an obcessed leader and Tobias is having insecure emotional troubles. Can they see past the war and prejudices to find each other and perhaps something worth winning the war for? TobiasJake
1. The Something'

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters as they are the property of KA Applegate and Schoolastic, however since they fucked them up so much i realied, he couldn't do much worse. so here goes! I'm going to ignore the books set toward the end...

AN: The thought speak is going to be spoken with (bla bla bla) those things,

Something Worth Fighting For

'The Something'

Jake sat on a stool in the barn, completely exhausted. Cassie was going on about something, no doubt establishing moral limits or something with the other Animorphs. Jake presently didn't have the mental capacity to pretend to pay attention to her. It had been a long and bloody night, it was a fairly successful battle, no one died. Jake prayed every day that he would never get any of his friends killed. Whoever said leadership was a heavy burden was a fucking genius…did anyone actually say that?...or was leadership a privilege…argh thinking not good!

Cassie looked over toward him and Jake pretended to be thoughtful. At one point of time Jake thought Cassie would be a way to life the immense pressure of responsibility from his shoulders. He could take her to the movies, make out and act like a normal teenager…however when he was with Cassie…it didn't feel right…hollow. He found himself constantly thinking of the war.

He was becoming obsessive. It wasn't ony his self awareness, the entire group had noticed also. After breaking up with Cassie they suggested he take up basketball again or go on a short trip or start dating someone else. Jake tried all three, he quite basketball after a month. He went to New York for a long weekend and went out with one of the most hottest girls in school.

Yet he always found himself drifting into thoughts of the war and battle strategies kept buzzing around in his head. Very hard to make out with someone with an image of Visser 3 in your head…not much of a turn on. So he finally gave up, declaring himself a boring, stuffy, stick up the arse leader sort.

(You alright Jake?) Tobias asked in private thought speak (You look very pale)

Jake just nodded…and nearly fell out of his chair.

'Wow man are you okay?' Marco asked, as Jake placed his arse securely back on the seat.

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'You look like a walking post mortem,' Marco pointed out.

'Seriously Marco I'm fine,'

'Is that Jake speaking or our great and fearless leader?' Rachel asked.

'There's a difference?' Jake raised his eyebrows.

'Perhaps you should return to your home Prince Jake,' Ax suggested.

'Perhaps I should,' Jake stood and tried to focus on morphing falcon…tried…and threw up.

'Oh dear,' Cassie sighed and ran to Jake, patting him on the back.

'You're suffering from extreme exhaustion,' Ax pointed out 'You won't be able to morph,'

'Then walking it is,' Jake stood pushing Cassie aside and walking to the door, 'oh by the way, sorry about the floor Cassie,'

'Don't be ridiculous Jake! You're not walking home alone half dead!' Cassie declared.

'There's nothing you guys can do,' Jake shrugged 'There's no way Cassie's parents will let me stay, Marco lives on the other side of town and Rachel's got a date at eleven,'

Cassie scowled, not getting her way, she hated,

'I'll walk home with you,' Cassie declared.

'Don't be stupid, it's a long way for one trip, let alone two,' Jake opened the barn door.

'Jake you _can't_ walk home alone,' Cassie forbid.

(I'll go with him) Tobias offered (It's not so far for a hawk)

Cassie beamed 'Thank you Tobias,'

Tobias unfolded his wings and took off, Jake finally left the barn and closed the door behind him.

They walked in silence for most of the way. Jake knew Tobias wasn't exactly a social person, the fact that he had chosen to remain a hawk proved that. However, it wasn't really an uncomfortable silence. It was more…companionable. Jake thought, almost comforting, to know he was there.

(You think to much) Tobias spoke. Well sort of spoke.

'How could you tell I was thinking?' Jake asked, to most people that would seem a stupid question.

(You have that out of focus look in your eyes…and you're biting your lip)

'You can see that well in the dark?'

(Not really, but a right side better than you can)

Jake smiled and looked to the sky. A shadow flew gracefully above him, watching over him. Jake had never felt more safe.

'Be sure to tell me if there's a knife wielding maniac waiting for me around a corner,' Jake joked.

(That'd be interesting to see, I wonder how a criminal react suddenly upon realising he's trying to mug a full grown male Siberian tiger)

Jake laughed, before they fell into the comfortable silence again.

(I haven't heard you laugh like that in a while)

'…I suppose it's the exhaustion,' Jake spoke softly.

(Do you realise you've tripped 27 times on the pavement?)

Jake laughed again. A car drove by and ran through a puddle left by the afternoon showers. Jake exclaimed as the hazardous puddle soaked his pants through.

'Bloody hell!' Jake growled. Tobias laughed. They were silent for a long time after that. They'd reached Jake's street before the silence was broken again.

(It's not enough is it?)

'What do you mean?' Jake asked confused.

(The Animorphs, being a part of our group?) Tobias spoke carefully (It takes up such a large part of your life until there's nothing else but this war…and it's not enough. We need more, a lot more)

'I know what you mean,' Jake realised 'I just…don't know what it is I'm missing,'

(Something…to fill the empty space. Something worth wanting to live for…to win for)

Jake looked down at the pavement puzzled, they resumed their silence until Jake stood outside his front door.

'See ya Tobias…take care,'

(You too) with that, the shadow left.

Jake wouldn't have been able to sleep if he wasn't so damn exhausted. Instead he spent the entirety of the next day, which was really only 8 hours after waking up well into the afternoon, pondering what had made Tobias say those things. Tobias wasn't known for saying much…actually he wasn't known much at all…save for his friends of course. For Tobias to say all that…it was so…profound as well. Jake realised Tobias had spoken exactly what Jake had felt. They were both missing something.

The others had their 'somethings' that made them happy and sane. Cassie had her animals, Marco had his large collection of video games and new girlfriend…Sienna Jake thought her name was. And Rachel…well Rachel loved the war sooo... Jake wasn't sure that Ax felt the same way about it, he was an Andalite, the purpose they live for is to fight the yeerk invaders. Plus from what Jake had gathered about Andalites, their emotions are less extreme that humans. Anyway, back on track, Tobias, what would make him say something like that? 'The something' must be really plaguing his mind for him to actually ask something as deep as that. Hell it should be a song…actually it probably is. Another query…why would Tobias turn to Jake for answers?

Could it have to do with that night? Does he even remember what happened? It had been six months ago, and Tobias was really very drunk. Rachel had broken up with Tobias that afternoon. And at nine o'clock that night, Jake had awoken to a giant bird falling on top of him. Apparently you can morph and demorph while intoxicated and remain drunk, kinda cool.Tobias demorphed and began exclaiming how he was ready for battle and he would follow Jake anywhere and saluted to his lamp.

Jake immediately snuck Tobias out of the house. Not a good idea to have one of your soldiers going on about alien invasions when you're sharing a house with a controller. He walked with him down the school and they sat in the outfield of the baseball pitch…thing. Anyways Tobias, turns out, was a very chatty drunk. He told Jake a lot of stuff, Jake was willing to bet even Rachel hadn't known. Tobias talked about his family, school, bullies, hunting, life. Jake was shocked to find himself also spilling his secrets to the fragile boy. He told him everything he insecurities, his fears, his hopes. They had talked for half the night, about many different things. One of the subjects were of course, the reason Rachel had left Tobias and hence caused his intoxicated condition. Rachel told the group it was because they had grown apart, Tobias drunkenly says it was because Rachel thinks he's frigid.

'She sayss I won touch herr, butt I dunno what he's talkin' bout,' Tobias shrugged 'Shee says that if I loved her that I'd stop beein the hawk and heheheheehehe, touch her down there!'

Jake had gone very red and restrained himself from laughing.

'I didn't know she wanted me to doo that!' Tobias exclaimed genuinely shocked 'And I like being hawk! I can fight! Aand…well its not like there's anythin else here is ere?'

They were awake that entire night. Tobias had convinced Jake to go flying with him at 3:00am. They stopped at 8:00am, Jake had really honestly enjoyed it. He left Tobias in an almost sober state in his territory, and flown off. They had never spoken of it. Backing up Jake's assumption that Tobias had gotten too drunk to remember any of it…although after last night. Jake wasn't too sure.

AN: Well that's my first chapter. I was so ticked off there wasn't much Animorphs slash i decided to write my own. Hope i don't get anyone pissy. tata


	2. The hawk or the boy?

AN: I don't know Tobias's last name so from now on it's Thatcher...alsoam I the only one that noticed Tobiaswent from having black hair to blonde? Strange much? Anyway, I've decided that Tobias is going to have Black hair in this because it's hotter. Enjoy.

The hawk or the boy?

Two days past and Jake was still hung up over Tobias's odd words spoken that night after the battle. It wasn't consuming his every waking moment, but he found often his thoughts drifting back to what Tobias had said. He had dreamt about it that night.

_He was standing on a yeerk pool. Somehow walking on the water of the large yeerk infested ray soaked pool. Visser Three couldn't reach him, because if he tried he would fall into the pool _

_(Stupid Andalite, you'll loose in the end, your friends will die and you will become one of us. You'll suffer till the end of your days, controlled by a parasite)_

'_He's right Jake,' Cassie spoke beside the Visser. 'It's a waste of time and effort, we can't win, how could we?'_

_Suddenly the rest of the Animorphs stood beside her. Marco smirking, his hair returned to it's old length, Ax standing there in a rabbit morph, it was the rabbit from the movie Monty Python and the Holy grail, Jake thought he should defiantly get that morph! Rachel wasn't standing there though, instead Xena took her place, leather outfit flying killing disks and all. Tobias stood to the side in his human morph looking sad and pleadingly at Jake. _

'_You're going to get us all killed bro, why don't we go to Fiji? No yeerks in fiji, they don't the music it makes their ears hurt,' Marco asked._

'_He's right Jake, there are some battles you just can't win,' Xena offered. _

_(You're no Andalite Prince, Jake, you're playing pretend. You're going to get us all killed) Bunny Ax spoke._

'_We don't want to die Jake, why are making us do this?' Cassie asked._

'_Some best friend, we're going to end up dead, what army will you have then?' Marco asked._

_Suddenly Tobias was in front of Jake, standing with him over the yeerk pool._

'_I believe in you Jake,' Tobias spoke 'I know you'll save us, you won't let it end any other way,'_

'_But what if they're right? What if I do get them killed? How do I stop myself?' Jake asked him. Tobias looked up at him with those beautiful sad eyes. _

'_Just find your something,' _

Jake woke up in a cold sweat, panting heavily. Frustrated with himself for no reason he threw aside the covers and rushed into the shower. It was a Sunday, though Jake knew after a dream like that he'd get no more sleep. Once he had dried himself off and thrown on clothes he left his room and went downstairs for some breakfast. Tom was there…or the yeerk controlling Tom's mind and body was there. He was reading the Sunday newspaper, sitting on a stood at the bench. He looked up as Jake came down the stairs.

'Hey, you're up early for once,' Tom pointed out.

'Yeah,' Jake reached into the cupboard and pulled out the Cornflakes 'Bad dream,'

Tom nodded and returned his attention to the newspaper. Jake scowled, and wondered if yeerks even had dreams. He poured himself a bowl and searched for the milk, finding it not in the fridge he checked by the stove where the coffee pot was, bingo. He unscrewed the lid and poured the milk into the bowl. Before grabbing his own stool and began feasting on breakfast cereal.

'So how's Marco? I haven't seen him round here in a while?' Tom asked suddenly.

'He's alright, he just got a new girlfriend so she's taking up a bit of his time,' Jake made small talk with the yeerk enslaving his brother.

'Ah, you just make sure he doesn't turn into one of those guys that blows off all his mates because he's got girl now huh?' Tom smiled.

'Ahh yeah. I hate guys like that,' Jake tried.

'So what's on your agenda today?' Tom asked casually.

'Hmm? Oh nothing, probably just watching foxtel or playing some video games,' Jake shrugged.

'Sounds exciting,' Tom laughed.

'Thank you I'm sure I'll enjoy myself,' Jake smirked.

'I've got a sharing on this afternoon…I don't suppose you've changed your mind and would like to join me?' Tom asked.

'Ah no sorry,' Jake shrugged 'Still really doesn't appeal to me,'

'Oh come on,' Tom grinned 'What harm could it do?'

Ah how about putting a parasite in my brain where it learns all my deepest darkest secrets, controls my every move and thereby destroying all my friends.

'Na thanks, anything interesting going on?' Jake gestured toward the paper, successfully changing the subject.

'Nothing much,' Tom shrugged looking down at the printed news 'They're having that funeral for that factory worker today,'

'What factory worker?' Jake asked.

'You're kidding right?' Tom asked 'Geez honestly Jake, you need to know more about what's going on in the world, try watching the news sometime instead of that cartoon crap with the singing Christmas shit,'

'It's called South Park and his name is Mr Hankey!' Jake defended mocking hurt. Tom smiled and decided to fill Jake in.

'Three days ago there was a fire in one of the meat packing factories, the whole thing got burnt down, luckily someone pulled the alarm early and only one workmen ended up dead,' Tom recounted.

'Really? That was lucky,' Jake commented 'What was the guys name?'

'Alan…something,' Tom shrugged 'What was lucky about it was that the guy had no family, I mean apparently it says he has a nephew…but the kid disappeared a while back, I think he use to go to your school too,'

Jake dropped the spoon in his hand and it clattered on the floor. Tom raised an eyebrow when Jake didn't pick it back up.

'What was the guys last name?' Jake asked.

'Ahhh,' Tom flipped back a couple of pages and read 'Alan…Thatcher,'

Shock and understanding gripped Jake like a vice. He hid it quickly and picked up his spoon. He dumped the rest of his cereal in the bin, and left his bowl and spoon in the sink for mum to clean up later.

'What'd you do that for?' Tom asked.

'I just realised I do have plans for today,' Jake spoke quickly heading toward the door 'Have fun at your meeting!' Jake had a funeral to attend.

By the time Jake had got there the funeral was over, the grave was completed and not a figure remained. The graveyard was empty, except for one boy. Jake approached the grave, and the boy who's back was to him. The boy had deep black hair, a thin, yet broad shouldered figure and a body that was…nice. A body one could learn to worship…not that Jake thought that…

Jake stopped before he reached the boy and spoke.

'Why didn't you tell us?' Jake asked. Tobias turned and looked at him with those sad grey eyes. He was so beautiful, no wonder Rachel had chosen him out of all the boys at their school.

'It was right before a battle…' Tobias answered and turned his gaze back to the headstone. Jake walked up beside him and followed his gaze.

'And I didn't want it to seem like that big a deal…we never got along. He was always drinking and never treated me very well. So I'm not upset …no big deal,' Tobias spoke.

'It is a big deal,' Jake spoke 'But not because of who he was,'

Tobias looked at him in shock…how did he know? They were silent for a while. The wind began to pick up, the sky looked very intimidating, there was gong to be a storm soon, it was very dark for two o'clock.

'He was the last…' Tobias spoke suddenly 'My Aunt…she died last year…he was the last of my family…'

'You don't have to tell me…,' Jake offered as Tobias's voice wavered.

'It-it's okay,' Tobias said looking at the floor 'I want to…I like talking you to you. You don't judge me…or offer false comforts…you just listen, I like that,'

Tobias did remember that night, it was clear now. Jake half smiled at Tobias, waiting for when he was ready to tell him what he wanted to.

'He was my last connection to…my…humanity. Now there's nothing connecting me to the world. Now I truly am a hawk,' Tobias lowered his head. Jake reached out and grabbed Tobias' arm.

'Don't say that! It's not true! You have us,' Jake swore. Tobias looked at him with those heart piercing eyes.

'No false comforts Jake,' Tobias pleaded.

'It's not false!' Jake declared 'We'd never let you slip away Tobias. To us you'll always be the boy. The hawk is just your…masquerade,'

Tobias knew from Jake's pleading soft brown eyes, he thought he was telling the truth. Tobias looked at the ground and clenched his fists. The feel of Jake's hands still on his arm burned him with Jake's warmth. So comforting, Tobias barely felt the misery that had plagued him before. At Jake's touch Tobias felt apart of…something…that Jake really cared what happened to him.

'Sometimes I don't think so,' Tobias stated, 'Sometimes I think…the boy is…just a stage of a transition,'

'It isn't Tobias,' Jake promised 'You're human, you're not alone. You have us, the Animorphs, you're friends, we tie you to your humanity,'

'But then…you're all not that human any more are you?' Tobias returned Jake's gaze 'We've changed, we're different from everyone else, it's like…we've looked into a void…something humans were never suppose to see…and it's changed us, so that we're never the same again…and we can never be truly human again…,'

Jake thought about Tobias's words. They were…deep and troubling, quite frightening. Yet Jake knew they were true. They would, couldn't ever be the same again. They weren't like normal people, they'd been through too much, know too much. They'd never be like that again.

'You're right…we're not truly human anymore,' Jake quietly agreed. Tobias looked at him shocked. He didn't expect Jake to see it the way Tobias did. He expected him to deny it and claim sanctuary in his denial. He didn't imagine Jake to come to terms with it so quickly, look Tobias in the eye and say it was true.

'Even so…' Jake spoke smiling warmly 'At least we've got company, we've got our friends. You included,'

Tobias looked down at the flowers in the vase beside his Uncle's grave.

'No I don't…I'm not really connected with any of you…' Tobias told him 'And don't say it's not true cause you know it is…all my life I've never really fitted in…belonged anywhere. Even in the Animorphs, I'm the black sheep,'

'Tobias…you're not, you're one of us,' Jake expressed 'You are an Animorph,'

'I'm really not Jake,' Tobias shook his head 'You are all so close. Great and true friends…I don't have that connection with you. You all don't see me as you see one another…I'm a burden…a heavy conscience,'

'No you're-,'

'I am…I'm a sympathy case, I can see it in Cassie's eyes every time she speaks with me. She can't joke or laugh or even talk freely with me. She watches everything she says, with that strong pity in her eyes. Rachel still looks at me with rejection…I don't mind so much anymore…but we've lost that close friendship, I never talk with her anymore. And Marco…well Marco and I have never really gotten along. Ax is a good friend…but there's still that species barrier between us. And then there's you…' Tobias dropped off.

'Go on…' Jake swallowed 'Tell me, what about me?'

Tobias turned his body to face Jake. The sandy haired boy felt the first drop of rain hit his arm that still held onto Tobias. A second followed and soon it began to drizzle rain. The boys stood there unmoving, not caring about the change in weather.

'You…You're always so far away…' Tobias spoke 'You're so deep in your own thoughts. In a lot of ways, we're a lot alike, like that…and…I don't know…I suppose you're different from them too, I thought you were indifferent to me…until that night,'

'Tobias…if only…if only I knew that you felt this way…' Jake spoke. 'I didn't realise that they…'

Tobias smiled and the sight warmed Jake from the rain, thatbegan to fall stronger,pouring down from the grumbling sky.

'You didn't realise it did you?' Tobias spoke 'You saw me as you saw everyone else…a friend…a part of the group that's why you didn't realise that nobody else did, that I really wasn't,'

The rain soaked through their clothes, the drops slid down cheeks, shoulders and necks. Hair became plastered to faces.

'What you said…about needing something else other than war,' Jake tried 'I know, I understand, I need it too. Something in life that is stronger and as equally important to me as the war,'

'Yes,' Tobias agreed. 'A connection to life,'

Tobias looked down from him and focused on the ground, refusing to look up at the other boy.

'I need it Jake, I need something…I can't go on like this…,'

Suddenly Jake realised that Tobias was crying, that some of the water on his cheek was not from the rain. Jake felt his heart cry out for the boy. He had to do something, he didn't know what, he just wanted to take away the boys pain. To make it all stop. To give him something. Jake placed his fingers underneath Tobias's chin and raised it. Grey eyes starred deeply into dark brown. Raindrops froze in their dissention. Jake unconsciously leant forward, he suddenly realised what he was doing but found himself not only unable to resist, but not wanting to stop himself. He slid his eyes closed, and pressed his lips against Tobias's perfect, pale soft ones. Warmth flooded through him. It was a sensation stranger than a morph and far more powerful. Jake swept his tongue against Tobias's bottom lip, they parted with a gasp and Jake swept his tongue, softly and delicately inside. Tobias closed his eyes and welcomed Jake's tongue within his mouth. Jake tenderly kissed the boy, both discovering emotions and sensations far stronger than they had every experienced before.


	3. Denial A River in Egypt

AN: No reviews? Awww, nobody loves me : (

Denial A River in Egypt

He kissed me, oh lord did Jake kiss me, Tobias thought. He was perched on his favourite tree within his territory. He was hungry, there was a mouse down in his meadow, it had a broke leg and was making a lot of noise, an easy kill, but Tobias couldn't leave his branch. It was still bucketing down rain, he was cold and wet, no different from when he had been in the graveyard. And Jake…he was so perfect, even before the kiss. Standing there with those soulful brown eyes, filled with kindness and concern…and something else Tobias had never seen in his eyes before. Jake actually listened to Tobias, he told him that he was his friend, that he understood him. Then he…

Oh god the feeling of Jake's soft pink lips against his…indescribable. He thought he was flying again, but he was human and his feet were on the ground. There was a gorgeous god parting his lips, running his tongue across Tobias's, tenderly and gently pulling him closer, grasping Tobias's back and pulling him into an embrace. Tobias had surrendered himself over to it, it was so wonderful how couldn't he. He had wrapped his arms around Jake and let the other boy taste him, every inch of Tobias's mouth was explored and claimed.

A large clap of thunder had broken their moment. Jake pulled away in shock has lightning flashed above them. Tobias wanted nothing more than to grab hold of Jake again and kiss him with all the passion Jake had awoken inside of him. Oh god, he wanted Jake's hands on him, everywhere, he wanted Jake to touch him, to caress him. To taste his bare skin and claim Tobias's body as his own. And then Tobias would do the same to him. He wanted to see Jake's wet naked body and taste every inch of him, make him moan and plead and writher beneath him. Oh god, what was he thinking! Why, how can Jake make him feel like that? Why had he never felt like that with Rachel? It had scared him, how much he wanted Jake at that moment. He had demorphed so quickly it would have shamed Cassie's abilities. He took off into his security and home, the sky. Tobias thought he heard Jake call out to him, but it could have been the thunder.

He still wanted it, wanted him. But it was wrong. Jake was a guy, and not just a guy, his friend. For Christ sake he was his leader! The leader of the Animorphs, if they were in the army Jake would be the General. Jake was the one that made the plans, called the shots, fought at the front and spoke those daring words to Visser Three. He protected them, all of them, he would gladly give his life to save anyone of ours. In a way…Tobias thought…that was what was plaguing the boy. Jake was becoming obsessed, Tobias saw how hard it was for him, to keep being strong, no matter what happened. They'd each had their moments, breakdowns, crying and screaming and quitting at one point or another. But not Jake, he couldn't, he had to keep at it, he thought it was his responsibility. He needs an outlet, something to keep him stable, to steady him out. He needs someone to take care of him for once, to have someone to offer himself to, to loose control and not have lives riding on it. Tobias felt his heart burn at the thought of being that person. He wanted it more than anything, more than being human or winning the war. He wanted to be Jake's something. But he couldn't, it would never work out…Tobias couldn't do it, he wasn't able to. He'd just end up screwing things over, like he usually did. Tobias wasn't good for anything, it's what he had been told his whole life and he knew it was right.

Jake lay in his bed, still drenched from the rain. He hadn't changed or had a shower. He had just collapsed on his bed, letting his mind run over the accounts of that afternoon. He had kissed a guy, and liked it…a lot. So did that make him gay? Or just bi? Did that even matter? Jake remembered the way Tobias had submitted himself to the kiss and Jake shivered with delight. Jake never wanted anyone so fiercely before. He wanted to continue his kisses down Tobias's pale enticing neck and over his masculine chest and down…Jake groaned in frustration what the hell! Why the sudden did he suddenly find Tobias so damn attractive…he hadn't had these feelings before…for anyone…had he? Jake thought back to all those times he had spoken with the dark haired melancholic dream boy. Maybe …maybe it wasn't so sudden…Jake tried to think back to the first time he had seen Tobias…was there something there? He couldn't remember. He suppose it didn't matter, because whether it was there at the beginning or not it sure as hell was there now.

Not that anything was going to come of it. Tobias had left hadn't he? He realised what he had been doing, freaked out and left Jake standing there for an hour confused and…yes okay he admitted, a little hurt. Why did he do it…why couldn't he just given Tobias a hug or a friendly pat on the back, no he had to go make out with the boy of his dreams. Jake sighed. A gust of wind blew through his window, rain accompanied it, having no more effect on Jake of course because he was already drenched. Jake knew he should probably close the window but he didn't want to…what if Tobias came by? Jake rolled over and sighed. He wanted him, and not just physically, he wanted Tobias here with him, to talk with him, or not even that. Just to be there, his presence would be enough. A comfort.

Oh god why did he have to kiss him. He came on way too strong. Tobias was going to hate him, think he'd tried to take advantage of him or something oh god…had he? A large breeze swept into the room, Jake sat up and looked out of his window.

(Jake)

Jake turned around and found Tobias perched on his desk chair. Jake bit his lip, oh no he wasn't ready yet, forget what he said, he wasn't hopping Tobias would show up, he wasn't ready for this confrontation

-Sure and that's why you left the window open- Jake's inner voice told him.

(You're completely soaked!) Tobias realised.

'Erh…yeah,' Jake agreed, blushing slightly.

(Why did you leave the window open there's a storm going on outside, you're entire beds soaked as well!) Tobias asked surprised. Jake blushed further and closed his window.

'I uh didn't want to close it…' Jake looked at the ground 'In case…in case you came by…'

(Oh) was all Tobias said. There was silence for a few moments.

(I think…we should probably…I don't know…talk) Tobias tried

'We are talking,' Jake played dumb. Tobias gave him the look, don't as him how he knew Tobias was giving him the look, he was a hawk! But Jake knew.

'Alright fine,' Jake sighed.

(Okay then…so about the-)

'Could you...,' Jake gestured toward Tobias on the chair 'Would you mind?'

(Oh yeah! Sure, umm sorry,) Tobias morphed and sat in the chair, fully human.

'Thanks,' Jake said keeping his eyes on the floor.

'Listen Jake-,'

'I've been thinking,' Jake cut in, he sat indian style on his bed, but still gazed at the floor 'About something for you to do…you know something that would tie you back to our world?'

Tobias looked at him with expressionless eyes.

'Well…you could always try going back to school?' Jake offered.

'Back to school?' Tobias asked, frowning a little.

'Yeah,' Jake ruffled up his hair 'I mean the guys would help out, we'd give you the books, a bag, you can have some of my old clothes that I've grown out of…they should fit you,'

Tobias sat there thinking it over.

'I mean, you use to do Rachel's homework right? Why not?' Jake reasoned.

'I suppose,' Tobias spoke finally. Jake smiled warmly.

'Great…cause you know…I'd never want you to feel left out…or pressured into anything…you don't have to do it if you don't want to…I'd never want to put you into a position you weren't comfortable in,' Jake spoke, with a double meaning. Tobias looked up at him, getting the clue. 'Because…' –here goes- 'I really care about you-,'

'Jake-,'

'And I'm sorry about…the kiss…I really shouldn't have and I'm really-,' Tobias strode across the room sat on his knees beside Jake on his bed, and stopped Jake's words with his lips. It felt breathtakingly amazing the first time, it felt like pure bliss when the kiss was reciprocated. Tongue's touched and electricity sparked between them, both boys opened their mouths, tongues tasting desperately, not able to get enough of the other's sweet flavour. The kiss became extremely heated, lips nipped softly and tasted with a sweep on delicate tongues. Hands began to roam. Tobias slipped his hand up underneath the wet fabric of Jake's shirt and began to feel the wet chest of the other boy. Jake gasped and slipped his hands down to grasp Tobias's hips. The need for air became too demanding and they separated panting. Tobias was too hungry to stop, he licked the side of Jake's jaw bone and kissed, sucked and nipped his way down Jake's neck. Jake moaned and clutched at Tobias urgently.

'Tobias,' Jake gasped.

'MMmmmm?' Tobias asked into Jake's neck.

'Maybe…ahhh…maybe we should uhhh….take slow,' Jake made it. Tobias reluctantly pulled his mouth from Jake's neck, which earned a whimper in return.

'Yeah…you're right,' Tobias breathed heavily. Jake nodded.

'Besides you need to have a shower,' Tobias pointed out.

'Are you implying that I stink?' Jake grinned.

'No, I'm implying that if you stay in those wet clothes any longer you're going to get pneumonia,' Tobias smiled.

'Oh…alright then,' Jake grinned and stood up to go the bathroom, but stopped and turned back to Tobias when he reached his door.

'Go on, I'm not going anywhere,' Tobias promised. Jake smiled and walked down the hallway.

When Jake came back Tobias was lying on his bed waiting for him. Instead of sitting on his chair Jake walked to his bed and laid down beside the other boy.

'Hey,' Jake spoke softly.

'Hey,' Tobias said in return and snuggled into Jake's shoulder.

'I want to ask…what this all means, but I really don't want to spoil the moment,' Jake sighed. Tobias smiled into Jake's neck.

'What do you want it to mean?' Tobias asked.

'That we're both going to try this, to have it not be just physical…I guess I want to try and…have a relationship with you?'

'Me too,' Tobias whispered. They just held each other for a while, outside the storm had settled and it turned dark.

'I suppose this makes me gay,' Jake spoke suddenly.

'No necessarily you could be bi, you've had girlfriends,' Tobias reasoned.

'Yeah, both times felt really weird,' Jake laughed.

'Really?'

'Yeah…,' Jake laughed again 'Beside's look at Cassie…baggy overalls, hides everything away, short hair cut…that should have explained everything,'

Tobias laughed,

'Yeah me too, I had the hottest girl in school…and we didn't do a damn thing…just flying,'

'Denial just not a river in Egypt?' Jake suggested. Tobias laughed again.

'Yeah, not anymore though. This feels so good, no way I'm giving it up,' Tobias snuggled closer.

'Yeah,' Jake sighed happily 'Me too,'

'Should we…should we tell the others?' Tobias asked.

'…no…it's not that I'm ashamed of this or you or anything just…I like having this all to myself…you know? My own secret?'

'Yeah, know what you mean,' Tobias agreed 'Plus it might build up a lot of tension in our little group, not a good idea when our lives depend on one another,'

'Oh shit!' Jake realised sitting up 'I didn't even think about how this would effect the battle ahh war!'

'Really?' Tobias beamed 'That would be a first,'

'Hey…it is too,' Jake grinned and settled back beside his boyfriend, who held him close just as fiercely.

AN: I'd appreciate Reviews...from anyone...please?


	4. Doing the Dishes

A/N: I don't know Jake's parents names (I haven't read Animorphs since grade 8) and I couldn't be bothered looking them up so I just pulled them out of my arse. Enjoy.

Doing the Dishes

The rest of the Animorphs arranged in Cassie's barn remained a fair bit shocked on Jake's news. Tobias, feeling a little sensitive on this subject had decided to show up once Jake had explained it to them fully.

'Are you sure about this dude? I mean…is he sure about this?' Marco asked.

'Yeah,' Jake shrugged.

'But why now? What brought this on?' Cassie asked.

'He just needs this right now, I told him not to worry about anything that you'd all be supportive,' Jake informed 'I wasn't wrong was I?'

It almost seemed like a threat? Cassie thought, 'Of course not…it's just after all this time…well I suppose that doesn't matter really. We're behind it a hundred percent,' she smiled.

'Yeah sure,' Marco shrugged.

'Whatever,' Rachel added.

'Alright,' Jake grinned.

(Is that my que to enter?) Tobias asked from where he was positioned a few trees away, within viewing and hearing distance of a hawk. Jake nodded, and Tobias lifted off and landed on a beam on the roof.

(Hey guys) Tobias spoke.

'You sure about this man?' Marco asked the hawk 'I mean we understand and will…you know support you and all that but…you actually _want_ to be in year twelve?'

(Yeah) was all Tobias said. There was no way he was going to pour his heart out to the entire group. Besides Jake had already told them his reasons.

'Alright then dude no worries,' Marco shrugged 'Just call the school tell em you wanna come back and choose your subjects,'

'What are you going to do about clothes?' Cassie asked.

'Oh I can go shopping for you?' Rachel exclaimed.

(No!)

'No!' Jake, Tobias and Cassie all spoke simultaneously.

(Sorry Rach…I've been shopping with you before…and I'd rather become a controller than relive that experience)

They all laughed at that, except Rachel of course.

'I was thinking he could borrow some of my clothes?' Jake offered. Rachel scoffed and Cassie scowled.

'No I don't think so, people- well the girls,would notice and become suspicious,' Cassie thought 'He could…he could have Daniel's old clothes,'

'Oh…Cassie are you sure?' Jake asked 'Really he doesn't need-,'

'No…it's okay, I'll…I'll go get them,' Cassie turned and left the barn.

(Ookay, who's Daniel?)

'Cassie's older brother,' Rachel spoke.

(I thought she was an only child?)

'She is, he died when he was 19, car accident I think,' Marco explained.

'Yeah, that's why her parents decided to have another baby,' Rachel informed.

(I thought Cassie's parents were a bit old to have her…wait does this mean I'll be wearing some dead guy's clothes?)

'Old clothes, he became a pretty big guy…but he was pretty thin when he was our age…so she'll no doubt bring down the older stuff,' Rachel informed.

'Hope you don't mind wearing old band t-shirts, hehe, you poor bugger,' Marco laughed. Jake rolled his eyes.

(Won't this be hard for Cassie?)

'No,' Jake answered 'He died before she was born just…don't wear them in front of her parents,'

(Oh okay…I suppose that's the reason then)

'For what?' Marco asked confused.

(Why she's so intuitive of other people's feelings)

'Don't be stupid she didn't even know the guy,' Rachel rolled her eyes.

(Her parents would have been in a lot of pain Rachel. That kind of hurt never goes away. It doesn't matter that she didn't know him either…he's her family, her blood. He'll always be a part of her)

Jake looked at Tobias with understanding. The others looked disbelieving at the floor. Jake was the only one who realised Tobias was speaking of the father he'd never know. Cassie came back with a bag full of clothes.

'Umm I guess I'll leave them somewhere in your territory?' she offered.

(Thanks Cass)

'Okay, is that all there is oh great leader?' Marco asked.

'Ah yeah,' Jake shrugged.

'Okay then, you wana go catch a flick then? I'm dying to see Poseidon,' Marco offered.

'Ah no thanks Marco, I've got plans,' Jake answered. Everything went quiet, one of those really awkward complete silences.

'You…have got…plans?' Marco asked 'With who?'

'Ah…no one, it's a family thing,'

'Ohhhh,' the moment settled. Jake having a life outside of the war, just was not possible.

Jake gave Tobias a knowing smile.

'Who's your Daddy?' Tobias screamed. Jake scowled and crossed his arms.

'Lucky fluke,'

'Ha! After twenty games of defeat, Tobias the great has finally beaten Jake the champ at Street Fighter on PS 2!' Tobias raised his arms in victory.

'Wow congratulations,' Jake droned 'Bet you can't do it again!'

'Haha! I don't think so!' Tobias declared from where he stood in the living room across from the tv 'I'm going to take some great advice and quit while I'm ahead,'

'Jake, Tom!' a female voice called out. A woman entered the room, face hidden behind a giant box, that she was struggling to carry. Tobias rushed forward just as the woman tripped and caught her before she fell.

'Oh thank god,' she sighed. Tobias took the box from her.

'Where would you like this?' Tobias asked.

'Oh thank-you so much, just by the tv would be wonderful,' the woman answered. Tobias moved to the tv and placed the box down before turning to face the woman.

'And who are you?'

'Tobias,'

'Ah finally,' she smiled 'I've heard a lot about you,'

Tobias couldn't help turning a little red.

'Y-you have?'

'Jake could you go get me the scissors please?' Jake's mother asked.

'Ah sure, where are they?' Jake asked.

'Second shelf,' she spoke 'Jake tells me you're a great reader,'

Jake ran into the kitchen.

'Umm yeah I guess so,' Tobias tried to will away the awkwardness.

'Ever read Robin Hobb?' she asked.

'Ah yeah, actually but only the farseer trilogy and the tawny man ones. I never read the liveship stuff,' Tobias smiled politely.

'Oh yes,' Jake's mum exclaimed as Jake came back with the scissors 'I loved the series about Fitz, I wasn't very happy about the ending though…,'

Jake's mum took the scissors and began opening the box.

'Hmm me neither,' Tobias replied standing beside Jake.

'I never liked his girl…what was her name…Meg or something…she was just too…annoying I suppose,' his mother shrugged.

'Exactly,' Tobias agreed becoming enthusiastic.'I'd much rather he end up with the fool, because they shared that special connection and dearly loved Fitz. He wouldn't have anyone else,'

'That's what I thought as well!' the mother exclaimed 'I was so disappointed…it's so refreshing to find an open minded teenager on same sex relationships,'

Tobias thanked all his years as a hawk for not blushing and keeping a polite smile on his face. Jake however was another matter and quickly turned away to hide his full cheeked blush. Tobias wondered what the mother would think of same sex relationships if they involved her own son.

'I'm Sarah by the way,' Jake's mum smiled 'What were you boys up to before I came in?'

'I was setting a new world record of finally beating Jake at Street Fighter,'

'Well congratulations, has Jake invited you to say for dinner?'

'Ah…no,'

'Well than I shall do it for him,'

'I don't know if I can,' Tobias looked to Jake.

'Sure you can, you're not doing anything tonight remember?' Jake assured him. Tobias grinned.

'Alright sure, I'll stay,'

'Besides we're having it in ten minutes so really what's the point in leaving?' Sarah smiled.

'Hey Mum did you call me?' Tom asked as he walked down the stairs.

'Yes Tom, thirty minutes ago,' she rolled her eyes 'But there's no need now, your position as my son has been replaced by Tobias. I've had a longer conversation with him now than I've had with you in months,'

'Sorry Mum I've been busy lately with Uni and all,' Tom shrugged.

'I keep forgetting, my brilliant College son,'

'Tobias huh?' Tom asked and looked the boy up and down.

'Your last name wouldn't be Fangor would it?'

'No,' Jake said stepping between his boyfriend and the yeerk 'It's Thatcher,'

'As in the factory worker that was killed last week?' Tom asked.

'Ah yeah, he was my Uncle,' Tobias folded his arms.

'Oh dear I'm so sorry,' Sarah comforted.

'It's alright,' Tobias shrugged. 'We weren't that close,'

'Mmm something smells good-, oh we have a guest?' a man entered in a grey suit.

'Hey Dad, this is Tobias,' Jake introduced.

'Hey,'

'Hi, I'm Daniel…you wouldn't be the Tobias that Rachel was dating would you?' Daniel asked.

'Ah that was a while ago,' Tobias shrugged.

'I'll go get dinner, you boys sit down,' Sarah offered and hurried into the kitchen. The men of the family headed into another room, so Tobias followed them into what happened to be the dinning room. Daniel sat at the head of the table. Tom on his right and Jake on his left. Tobias sat himself beside Jake.

'So how come it didn't work out between you and Rachel?' Daniel asked.

'Dad!' Jake glared.

'I dunno,' Tobias shrugged 'I guess I just wasn't attracted,'

'You weren't attracted?' Tom laughed 'To Rachel?'

'Um yeah,'

'What, you like fat chicks?' Sarah hit Tom on the head as she came back in with the lasagne and salad.

'Ow Mum!'

'You deserved it,'

'No I don't,' Tobias interjected 'I just wasn't attracted to Rachel,'

'Perfectly understandable,' Sarah glared at Tom as she served the dinner. Jake was trying so very hard not to laugh. Tobias reached beside him and pinched Jake's leg.

'Ow!' Jake jumped, his family all looked up at him in shock. This time it was Tobias who was trying hard not to laugh as Jake mumbled about ants. Tobias tucked into his lasagne. After living off rodents, home cooked pasta tasted so good.

'So Tobias, any thoughts of what you want to do once you leave school?' Daniel asked. Tobias couldn't be bothered to explain he was just returning to school so thought genuinely about the question.

'I don't know maybe…join the army,' Tobias shrugged. Tom's head raised in interest. Jake hid a smile as he sipped his coke.

'Actually I think I'll try the Air Force,' Tobias grinned and Jake couldn't help but laugh.

'Jake!' Sarah scorned 'That's a marvellous idea! It's more than you've got planned! Every time I ask Jake about after school life he just shrugs it off!'

'That's disgraceful Jake,' Tobias scorned.

'I'm thinking of committing myself to an insane asylum,' Jake grinned.

'Oh laugh it up, but at the end of the year when you're stressing out don't come crying to me,' Sarah huffed.

'Deal,' Jake smirked. There was a silence afterward. Tobias had finished his lasagne and stared at his salad with distaste. Hawks don't care for vegetables. Tobias thought it would seem rude if he left a huge hunk of salad on his plate so he began to pick at it reluctantly.

'So Tobias you got a new girl then?' Tom asked.

'Well…no,' Jake looked up at him 'But I've got my eye on someone special,'

Jake immediately looked back down to hide his flush.

'What's she look like then? If you didn't like Rachel, I'm just dying to hear who this special one looks like,' Tom asked.

'Well,' Tobias grinned 'They're a brunette, with the most gorgeous body I've ever seen and really soulful brown eyes. Not to mention a great sense of humour, an amazing laugh and a smile that would make your heart melt,'

Jake had gone so red he resembled the tomato in the salad.

'Oh so you're into brunette's?' Tom nodded.

'Sounds like you really like her,' Daniel pointed out.

'Yeah I do,' Tobias squeezed Jake's leg under the table. Sarah smiled and sighed.

'Well if you're all done I'll just clear up,'

'I'll do it,' Tobias announced standing.

'No, you're the guest, you can't, it's against the rules,' Sarah smiled.

'I'll help him,' Jake stood also.

'Really?' Sarah asked shocked 'Tobias now you have to come by as often as possible. I never thought I'd see the day Jake would offer to help clean,'

Tobias laughed as he collected the plates and headed into the kitchen. Jake collected the cups and cutlery before hurrying after him. He closed the door and found Tobias washing up in the sink. Jake came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Tobias stopped cleaning and leant back into the other boy.

'Do I get to say all the things I like about you then?' Jake asked.

'Mmm if you want,' Tobias smiled. Jake slid his hands up under Tobias' shirt and traced patterns on the boys stomach.

'Your hair always sits perfectly, your eyes are so beautiful, I accidentally found myself starring into them often enough. You're sensitive, your lips are absolutely perfect. You can be so damn adorable and you've the hottest body,' Jake nuzzled into Tobias' shoulder 'You're so beautiful,'

Tobias moaned softly and tilted his head back brushing his lips softly against Jake's before parting them. They kissed deeply, tongues gliding over one another. Soon the kiss became heated and desperate. Tobias wanted to turn around and throw his arms around his boyfriend, however Jake's body pinned him between the sink and other boy, refusing to let Tobias budge. Jake's hand moved lower from Tobias' stomach and brushed across the front of Tobias' trousers. Tobias gasped, Jake smirked into the kiss and moved his hand up and down across the front of Tobias' crutch. Tobias shivered in pleasure. Jake found the head of Tobias' shaft and traced it through his pants. Tobias' cry was muted by Jake's mouth. Tobias was beginning to weep into his pants.

'Jake,' Tobias gasped 'Want this so much…but your parents,'

Jake made the movements of his hand more forceful and Tobias arched into them with a soft groan.

'Then I'll have to work quickly won't I?' Jake asked.

Tobias nodded, mind clouded with lust. Jake quickened his movements and made them far more harder. Tobias moaned, his hands grasped onto Jake's hips for balance and clung on for dear life.

'Jake,' Tobias pleaded, he was so close, so close just a little more. Oh god, who would have though over clothed groping, could feel so good. The feeling was en-heightened by the fact it was Jake. Jake pressed up against him, Jake delicately placing kisses on his neck, Jake's hand rubbing against him. Up and down, up and down.

'Come for me Tobias,' Tobias arched forward and came into his trousers. His fists were white, from grasping Jake's shirt, his mouth open in a silent scream. When Tobias had finished Jake pressed a tender kiss on his lips before turning to the sink and beginning on the dishes. Tobias leant against the counter eyes closed recovering, when he opened his eyes, Jake was halfway through.

'How are you boys doing?' Sarah poked her head through the door.

'Fantastic,' Tobias sighed and grabbed a tea towel. Jake smiled

'We're halfway through,' Jake called out, but didn't turn around to face his mother.

'That's good, we're all going to watch stealth, if you wanted to join us,' Sarah asked.

'No mum, that's alright, we're going to hang upstairs in my room after this,' Jake replied, however still remaining faced toward the sink.

'Alright then, thanks for the dishes,'

'No worries,' Tobias answered as she left. Tobias looked Jake up and down and realised why he hadn't turned his body from the sink. Tobias pressed his body against Jakes' side and slipped his hand over Jake's straining arousal. Jake moaned and pressed into the hand.

'I promise to take care of this later,' Tobias whispered in Jake's ear.


End file.
